Never Say Never To Her
by TrekFan24905
Summary: Just a little story about how the crew of the Enterprise learned never to underestimate their Head Nurse. Humor. Another one of those ideas that bounced around in my head threatening to combust if I didn't write and post it.


A funny little story on how the crew of the Starship Enterprise learned not to underestimate their Head Nurse. Humor.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Star Trek is the property of someone with a lot more money than me. I make no profit, it's all for fun. Enjoy!

xxx

At first, the crewmembers of the U.S.S. Enterprise were entirely opposed to Starfleet constructing the Olympic sized swimming pool on the exercise deck. Not only did it take away space from the gymnasium that the majority of the ship already believed to be too small, but also it meant keeping the Enterprise in spacedock an extra six weeks while the deck was refitted to accommodate the large pool. It wasn't long, however, that the crew began to appreciate the newest addition to their ship: not only did it provide a new form of recreation to the travel weary astronauts, but it soon became the ship's hotspot for single personnel. Minus complaints the janitorial staff logged daily about water puddles all over the ship, the men and women under Kirk's command were as happy as they had been in months.

Unfortunately, it was these happy, single crewmembers that soon brought new reason for opposition to the pool, this time from the Fleet itself. After a young ensign, looking to impress the female yeoman that had been standing by, almost drowned after botching a dive off one of the rafters, Starfleet Command demanded that a lifeguard be present at the pool 24/7.

Not surprisingly, there was a noticeable lack of licensed lifeguards out in the middle of space, so the ship was left with no alternative but to improvise. It was to the First Officer that the duty of identifying and enlisting members of the crew who had undergone water training to fill in as temporary lifeguards outside of their regular shifts fell. Spock compiled a list of twenty or so crewmembers who had the necessary training to stand in for the time being, and wrote up a schedule that was amendable to their respective work hours and framed it so that there would always be someone present at the pool but the individual's free time would not be too clipped by this additive duty.

It surprised many when they learned that Spock had put himself on the lifeguard roster. The Vulcan never expressed a fondness of swimming (and of course he never would) nor did he ever present himself to be a fledgling hero or in any way a show off. The few who confronted him on this strange happening were met with the same response, "I am the First Officer, and as such it is my responsibility to ensure to the best of my ability the safety and well-being of the crew. Not only would my refraining from this duty be illogical, it would be in direct violation of the regulations I have sworn to abide by and uphold."

Having sufficiently explained his motives for undertaking such an unSpocklike task, the collective discussion of the crew turned to other matters. This did not mean, although, that they had forgotten Spock's obligation by the pool, and when the schedule rotation finally came to him, more people found their way to the exercise deck to look in on him; most of these newcomers being females wanting to see Spock in nothing but his regulation navy blue swim trunks.

Spock, however, seemed oblivious to the unabashed stares and giggles he was currently drawing from the onlookers and, most importantly, he was unaware of the whispered conversation taking place not far behind him.

"Do it. Just go over and do it," Janice Rand was goading Nyota Uhura.

"What? No way! I was just joking, there is no way I'd be crazy enough to do that! Forget it!" Nyota replied, somewhat stunned that she had actually taken her seriously.

"Oh, come on! You can do it. Just be real fast about it. It'd be great. **C'mon**!"

"No! You do it if you want it done so bad," Nyota retorted tauntingly.

"Nope, nope. You suggested it, so now you've gotta be the one to do it," Janice countered, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips.

Uhura laughed and shook her head. "I **dare** you to do it!" Janice pushed.

"No."

"I will pay you fifty credits to do it."

"Nope."

"A hundred credits," Janice offered.

"Uh-uh. Just drop it."

"Drop what?" came the voice of Christine Chapel from beside them. The Head Nurse stood there in full uniform but a swimsuit and towel were folded ready over her arm. She looked down at her two friends in interest.

"Nothing," Uhura answered rolling her eyes, but a humorous smile was lighting her face.

Chapel looked instead to Janice who giggled, "Uhura's gonna pants Spock!"

"I am **not**! I said that in jest, Chris, don't listen to a word she says," Nyota defended.

"Pants… Spock…?" Chapel asked a little dazed.

"Yeah, pants," Janice responded, "You know, when you sneak up behind someone, grab their skivvies and –"

"I know what it means, Janice. It's just… you where planning to do that to Spock?" she asked.

"Uh, no. Nyota was planning to do it."

"Was **not**!"

Janice raised her hands in defeat, "Fine, I guess nobody on this ship has the cojones to do it then."

Christine though a moment, starring at Spock where he stood just seven short paces away, his back to her. Janice and Nyota had begun discussing something else when she finally said, "I'll do it."

Her friends turned to face her. "Do what?" Nyota asked.

"I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna pants Spock," the nurse replied.

Rand and Uhura burst out into hysterical laughter. Eventually Janice managed to choke out, "You're… going… to pants… Spock…"

"Yeah, that's what I said, wasn't it?"

Their laughs subsided, Janice became semi-serious now, "There is no way that **you** will pants Spock!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. There is absolutely, positively now way in a million lightyears that you would," Janice stated rather mockingly, "Wanna know how I know?"

"Do tell. Thrill me with your dazzling insight."

Janice lapsed into another small fit of laughter before answering, "I know because 1) you are in love with Spock and so there is no way you could ever bring yourself to humiliate him in front of all these people," she explained, gesturing to the fifty or so that had gathered there. "And secondly, you just don't have the gall! You simply could not muster up the courage to carry it out. It is impossible for you to! You will **never** pants Spock!"

"Is that so?" the nurse asked hotly, her hands were now on her hips.

"Uh-huh. Never in a million years."

Christine took in a sharp breath between her teeth before walking away, leaving Nyota and Janice alone once again.

"Nice," Nyota finally said. "What?" Janice asked innocently.

"You know what. You didn't have to been so mean about it, Janice!"

"Hey, people need to know their limitations, Ny."

Uhura sighed, "You are such a…" but what Janice was, she never found out because just then their conversation had been cut short by loud wolf whistles, surprised gasps, and a loud splash.

It turns out that Janice hadn't been wrong about Christine.

Because Christine hadn't **just** pantsed Spock.

In the short time Rand and Uhura had had their little spat, Nurse Christine Chapel had walked proudly up to Spock pulled down his swim trunks and – after the Vulcan had been sufficiently caught off guard by that factor – easily pushed him into the pool water then jumped in after him to **completely** take off Spock's trunks!

She emerged from the water with the trunks slung victoriously over her shoulder, and as she marched back over to her friends her boots squeaked and squished with the moisture they had absorbed in the pool. Completely soaked, but looking thoroughly pleased, she dropped the trunks at Janice's feet and stated coolly, "Never say 'never' to me."

With that she walked out of the pool room with the eyes of every one of the room's occupants staring disbelievingly at her retreating back.

Nyota and Janice's mouths were still gaping as Spock scrambled to the nearest corner of the pool and demanded a towel.

It didn't surprise anyone when Spock assigned Ensign Chekov to replace him in his lifeguarding time slot a short time after. Spock of course maintained that the occurrence was merely unexpected, that it did not affect him in anyway, and that he had only turned this duty over to Pavel because he had other, more demanding responsibilities to tend to on behalf of the Enterprise that required his free time.

What did surprise them was that Christine received no form of reproach for her actions that day. On the contrary, the nurse seemed to be on cloud nine whenever anybody saw her. Doctor McCoy was most proud of his Head Nurse and brought up the incident to Spock whenever he got the chance. Captain Kirk couldn't even suppress laughter at his friend's expense upon hearing the tale that would soon become legend amongst the crew. Spock was as aloof as ever, although many speculated that he now regarded the nurse with a newfound respect.

But whatever the situation was, there was no longer a soul on Enterprise that dared to suggest to Christine Chapel that there was something she would "never" do.

xxx

Fini!


End file.
